second thoughts

I didn’t have any expectations when I started out- none of self-discovery, self-realization (or self-anything). I haven’t had an epiphany (yet). I haven’t rediscovered myself and I feel, I haven’t even changed that much, except I am a lot more patient perhaps?

For the last 3.5 months, I have just lived life very different from the one I have had before , where I think about everything I do, decisions I make- no matter how trivial.

I have just lived a life without any expectations- from anyone, any place, anything- that’s what been different and that has made all the difference.

I feel fearless today. I feel like standing in an open field, arms raised to the blue skies, eyes closed, my sense of feeling enhanced, going around in circles, doing cartwheels (if only i could)- to go giddy- intentionally..

I remember, vividly, the moment I decided it was time that night in December. I thought out loud- What’s stopping me? A long silence followed. Me.
I was ready to let go.

Not a single day goes by when I don’t think of the ones I have loved, ones who have left me behind, ones I have left behind - not one.

It’s a great burden, it’s a great joy.
today, I choose to share it and multiply it with you all.