Friday, December 19, 2008

same situation

at the gym, i am handed keys to the same permanent locker i had, before i left (and they don't keep a history)

its like i never left. time is standing still.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

tell me what you see

i roam the streets of San Francisco dazed and confused, drive around the bay area, eyes wide open, level of consciousness unnaturally enhanced, experiencing all things mundane and not.

i sing at the top of my voice on my way to work on chilly mornings, with Karen carpenter, trying to wake myself up.

i wonder at the new treadmill in amazement and can't help smiling- remembering the children who imitated me running in Laos.

i browse through 600 MBs of email trying to sift out the ones i can make sense of.

wine seems heavier, the grocery stores seem too well-stocked, too well-lit. the roads seem too wide, the offices look too clean, too artificial, the ever-present toilet paper in the bathrooms too unreal.

at night i slip under two down comforters, cosy in a huge bed, in a room with sap green walls- a welcome basket by my side- filled with shampoo, conditioner, lotion, a headband- a trivial but very important detail and a big bouquet of bright orange smiling sunflowers-my favorite - i wonder how nadia knew the little things that make such a big difference.
in the morning, i interrupt dreams of me building a house and volunteering in the middle east to get up and do it all over again..

over the last 9 months, i have experienced a world so different that this seems like an alternate reality- where I have lived in the past like a zombie. now i am taking it all in- the similarities, the differences, things as they are.

its almost like i have a new set of eyes, and they came free with a new perspective- something i acquired somewhere along the way in my travels, something i hope is here to stay, unlike the love handles i acquired during the same time :)

Thursday, December 11, 2008


9 months today, i sit in an internet cafe in casablanca typing uneasily on a french keyboard.
in the last 2 days, i have stepped foot in 4 countries egypt, jordan, italy, morocco. in the next 2 days, i will come full circle and land in the country i left 9 months ago.
36 hours away from a flight which will go west, while thoroughly enjoying the present moment, i just say hello and goodbye :)