both sides now

05.10.2008-018-chiangSaenToChiangKhong

"emotions in my experience aren't covered by single words. I don't believe in "sadness", "joy", or "regret".
maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feeling. I'd like to have my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic traincar constructions like, say, "the happiness that attends disaster" Or: "the disappointment of sleeping with one's fantasy". I'd like to show how "intimations of mortality brought on by aging family members" contacts with "the hatred of mirrors that begins in middle age". I'd like to have a word for "the sadness inspired by failing restaurants" as well as for "the excitement of getting a room with a minibar". I've never had the right words to describe my life, and now that I've entered my story, I need them more than ever. I can't just sit back and watch from a distance anymore. From here on in, everything I'll tell u is colored by the subjective experience of being part of events."

from "Middlesex"

words just are never enough to describe where i have been, what i have seen or felt this past week. but i will try, anyway.

a cute little 7-year old, manni, asks me my name and where i am from-- i am reminded of bangladesh except this is aboard an overnight train to lampang from bangkok on may 7th. an hour or so later, she gets her english book and we read together, just like tahsin!

it also turns out that noom, her father exports wooden stuff(spice racks etc.) to walmart and target! he also kindly offers to drop me at my guesthouse from the train station, which, given the heat was such a blessing. the guesthouse is amazing, i even have a terrace (for less than $10) although mosquitoes wouldn't let me relax outside for more than a minute.

the next day i go to the elephant conservation center 30 km outside lampang. i can go and HUG an elephant. I even hug a baby elephant, who sniffs my toes and then sneakily tries to trample my foot- it must smell bad!! my own reaction to the ensuing elephant show surprises me- elephants demonstrate their log lifting skills, curtsy, even paint and play the xylophone. it is too artificial for me, especially coming from an animal as majestic as an elephant. the audience is allowed to feed the elephants after the show, and i buy bananas for my favorite female.. a 7 year old who is the cutest, the most playful and occasionally grumbles!

the rest of the day is consumed in flagging buses off on a highway and making it to chiang rai. it is my stop to get some good books from orns bookshop.

the next morning, on my way to board the bus to mae sai, the border town with myanmar, i change my mind and decide to go to the golden triangle directly.

chiang saen is a beautiful, sleepy village on the river mekong, with about three guesthouses, one very loud bar and a wonderful night market which serves the best tom yum ghai. i visit old temples during the day and have an interesting conversation with jim, who stayed with one of the village tribes the night before, to smoke opium with them.. yes, it was a "legitimate" organized tour!

early next morning, i take a songtaew to the "golden triangle", the confluence of thailand, laos and myanmar. the opium museum provides a lot of information about the opium trade and the tools required for trading and using it. and then i am off to laos..

there is no direct bus to chiang khong, where the border crossing is. there are songtaews to haat bai and then to chiang khong, which go if there are enough passengers (you wait for them to show up for an hour or more, of course). if there aren't, you end up paying a lot more but the scenic drive is worth the extra money, anytime. finally i get to see northern thailand, just as i had imagined it to be.

i crossed over to the other side of mekong this afternoon-- i am in huay xai-- i arrived here, had a sumptuous chicken tikka masala with mint naan, and then signed up for the slow boat to luang prabang tomorrow morning, it will take two days before i reach that popular "french town" in the middle of laos.

every single night of last week was spent in a different city and now, i am ready to settle down and relax for a week in some town, some village in laos- the one i will find or the one that will find me in the next two days.