tell me what you see

i roam the streets of San Francisco dazed and confused, drive around the bay area, eyes wide open, level of consciousness unnaturally enhanced, experiencing all things mundane and not.

i sing at the top of my voice on my way to work on chilly mornings, with Karen carpenter, trying to wake myself up.

i wonder at the new treadmill in amazement and can't help smiling- remembering the children who imitated me running in Laos.

i browse through 600 MBs of email trying to sift out the ones i can make sense of.

wine seems heavier, the grocery stores seem too well-stocked, too well-lit. the roads seem too wide, the offices look too clean, too artificial, the ever-present toilet paper in the bathrooms too unreal.

at night i slip under two down comforters, cosy in a huge bed, in a room with sap green walls- a welcome basket by my side- filled with shampoo, conditioner, lotion, a headband- a trivial but very important detail and a big bouquet of bright orange smiling sunflowers-my favorite - i wonder how nadia knew the little things that make such a big difference.
in the morning, i interrupt dreams of me building a house and volunteering in the middle east to get up and do it all over again..

over the last 9 months, i have experienced a world so different that this seems like an alternate reality- where I have lived in the past like a zombie. now i am taking it all in- the similarities, the differences, things as they are.

its almost like i have a new set of eyes, and they came free with a new perspective- something i acquired somewhere along the way in my travels, something i hope is here to stay, unlike the love handles i acquired during the same time :)

the second time

my leave of absence was extended by another four months and I am so thankful to be able to continue this adventure without any worries.

this goes out to say thank you to Meg, Vivian and Ariel at Oracle for making it happen and for their confidence and support! I truly appreciate this opportunity!

I will be back to Oracle on Dec 15th, just after my 10 year anniversary (20th Nov), to reclaim my unused Linux box and a brand new 22" monitor!

TM, Chaaayo..("Let's go" in Mandarin)

hello old friend!

Ocean Beach, San Francisco

it might be sometime before I see a familiar face again. it was so great to see nadia for 10 days in laos. i was dreading the day she left and its here.
it got me thinking about what I miss about the life I left behind

i miss family and friends- I miss talking to them at the push of a button.
i miss midnight feasts (MNF), bike rides, bhangra nights, swing dancing, bollywood nights, BFF dinners, arguments and just plain conversations

i miss hot oatmeal and walnuts
i miss home-made paranthas
i miss baking a salmon with lemon and garlic salt and a glass of my favorite $7 malbec

i miss sunny afternoons on the papasan
i miss sunlight peeking through the copper canyon curtains, the treasures tucked away in the bookcase, the warmth of the down comforter, the wealth in the presidio library

i miss taking the #1 or #3 to china town and union square
i miss my morning drive to work (yes I do!)

i miss the pain and pleasure of making candles, paintings, soy lattes

i avoid my workout playlist because i miss running – i miss the runner's high, i miss waving thank yous, i even miss the amino vital after the run!
i really, really miss the Sunday morning long runs on the Great Highway- with its share of tourists, traffic, the sun, the ocean breeze, plums on the way back.

so after a month of not doing much except walking, i decided to do shadow boxing a few times a week, followed by some situps and pushups.

Who knows how long this phase will last, but right now, right here, it feels great – welcome back, endorphins!